the-vashta-nerada:

ALRIGHT SO IT’S 2:30 IN THE MORNING AND I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND  THEN I SAT UP AND ALMOST SCREAMED BECAUSE I WAS STRUCK WITH REALIZATION AND I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE TRUTH OF THE UNIVERSE

TELETUBBIES ARE CALLED TELETUBBIES BECAUSE THEY HAVE TELEVISIONS IN THEIR STOMACHS

awwww-cute:


My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby

awwww-cute:

My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby

hip-hop-influence:

bruh

blastortoise:

I think the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me during a sexual situation was when I was giving my first boyfriend a blow job and he was like “yeah take it all choke on it” and i was already at the base of his dick and it wasn’t anywhere near the back of my throat and I like snorted from laughing, I guess he took at as me “choking” and he came and was like “fuuuck that’s so sexy” and I just came up like

image

therealdjqualls:

humansofnewyork:

"I found him in the trash. I named him Shadow because he followed me everywhere."

This cat can talk?

therealdjqualls:

humansofnewyork:

"I found him in the trash. I named him Shadow because he followed me everywhere."

This cat can talk?

trebrond:

Dr. House in a nutshell

trebrond:

Dr. House in a nutshell

i love my gf

pastabot:

image

my GOOD FROG

pansansa:

literally fuck off you pretentious fuckbag who the fuck says social standing you piece of shit I swear to god I won’t be talked down by some asshole wearing a fucking bead necklace over an aqua polo shirt k

pansansa:

literally fuck off you pretentious fuckbag who the fuck says social standing you piece of shit I swear to god I won’t be talked down by some asshole wearing a fucking bead necklace over an aqua polo shirt k

snatchedweaves:

The dentist doesn’t have enough energy! buy more?

snatchedweaves:

The dentist doesn’t have enough energy! buy more?